It’s my birthday week, and I’m reflecting over the last 12 months as I plan for the next year, like I typically do. This really has been the year that dreams come true for me — being crowned a Ms. U.S. queen, getting engaged and married.
All these things have been wonderful. However, you would not believe the trouble and pain some people have caused me out of spite and jealousy — I hate using that J-word, but there is no other one to describe it. We’ll get into all of it. Keep reading.
Wear a crown
. About two decades ago, I bought my first tiara. The lady in the store told me it was a good time because they always stock up on them for the little girls at Halloween. I was buying it to wear on my birthday in October.
Ever since then, I have worn one on my birthday and any time I’m feeling less than royal to remind myself of who I truly am — a royal person of high moral character, values and integrity. Of course, I have also worn one when doing an appearance or book signing for The Princess Guide, and now I wear a much larger crown for appearances and speaking engagements as a Ms. U.S. queen. When I’ve been in a mood to not be as easily recognized, I have worn my crown ring as a reminder.
My whole life, I’ve had children point at me and call me a princess or Princess Barbie. Strangers have called me a princess and a Southern Belle. It’s happened a lot during my adult life, but I didn’t fully comprehend it until a few years ago.
Keep your crown on & stay on your throne
I have often written and said for many years now—Keep your crown on, and stay on your throne. By that I mean that it’s important to not allow other people to define you, disturb your peace, manipulate your emotions, or bully or control you. This isn’t easy. I have had my crown tilted (figuratively) in the recent past, but I never take it off and hand it over to anyone. Keep reading to the end and I’ll explain and give examples.
Being magnificently royal
This is an excerpt from my upcoming book “Becoming the Magnificent Me: A guide to creating your happiest life.”
If you’re familiar with any of my work, then you already know that from the publishing of my first book The Princess Guide to Healing a Broken Heart, I have focused on talking about being royal—not thinking that your better than others and telling them what to do but having a royal mindset where you live your life to a higher standard. I know that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and that this message doesn’t resonate with everyone. I even seriously considered transitioning the brand in the recent past.
There was someone in my life who I considered a friend (until they proved otherwise by their words and actions) who tried very hard to get me to change The Princess Guide brand. Once that didn’t work, this person told me that I needed to “stop with all the princess and national beauty queen stuff.” (Spoiler alert: If you haven’t seen me on social media or at appearances and don’t know, I was crowned a Ms. U.S. pageant queen in 2024. Read on to see just how hard that process was on me and all the challenges I faced—physically and from other people.) I was under contract to promote the pageant and my platform until the end of my year’s reign. So, that wasn’t happening. I actually considered changing the brand until I had a Christian male client who expressed how much he was learning about the Kingdom of Heaven from me and was sharing some of my insights with his church friends. I realized in that moment how valuable that brand and my royal insights are.
I also realized the motives behind the person trying to stop and sabotage my magnificence from shining through—not to mention trying to derail my calling and rob all the people who have and will in the future come to me for help from getting the assistance they need in discovering their own magnificence within and being able to make the positive changes they desire in their lives through my unique insights. My authenticity was being challenged. I had to banish this person from my kingdom [we’ll talk more about the haters later here] …
While I have identified with the role of a princess, I have now begun to embrace the role of a queen. No matter the station, the goal is still the same—to live my life to a higher standard, help others, and avoid comparisons, jealously, and envy. A royal person cannot do the things peasants can do because it is their job to be the behavioral model for society. Does this mean that you will have the attention and platform to influence a mass audience? Likely, no. However, our duty is to influence those around us who are wanting and willing to make positive changes in their lives. That may look like being the role model to your family members, your classmates, your coworkers, your religious or social groups, etc. We’re not all called to be famous—and quite frankly, we probably wouldn’t want most aspects of that role—but we are called to positively influence and help those around us.
I’ve been talking about being a princess and being royal for getting close to a decade now. That’s why I have to share this story. In case you’re wondering, this has everything to do with me being my authentic self and a good illustration of how you can find favor just be being you.
I took a trip to Los Angeles in early summer 2019 to visit a friend, and the flight crew was incredible to me that night. Let me start by saying that flying is not the most enjoyable thing for me to do, especially since I typically traveled alone before meeting my husband. However, it’s still something I hate doing.
In case you don’t know, I have been diagnosed with a rare eye disease that has caused me to lose all my night vision (it’s hard to see in low light situations too), and I’ve lost most of my peripheral vision. Airports are nightmares for me because people are often pushing and shoving, walking in front of me and even walking on and pulling their suitcases across my feet. That’s why I usually try to preboard … Finding my seat with those tiny letters and numbers usually takes me more time than most, and I sometimes need the help of a flight attendant.
That particular flight, I did preboard, and a lovely flight attendant named Sue helped me find my seat. The flight was delayed due to some flight numbers the crew was waiting to receive. When we left Dallas, it was still daylight, but it had turned dark by the time we arrived at LAX.
We landed in a remote gate requiring deplaning off a ramp and getting on a tram to get into the airport. The flight crew told us that we had to quickly deplane and get immediately on the tram. I was nervous because of my vision issues and not knowing what lighting situation or obstacles I would be facing once I stepped out of the plane (or all the pushing and shoving I would experience from other passengers), Honestly, I was envisioning a long staircase like on Air Force One. On a trip to L.A. as a teenager, we had to deplane like that. I knew that I couldn’t physically do that now that it was dark outside. I waited for many of the passengers to get off the plane before finding Sue and asking for help. She was so kind and had me sit in first class while everyone got off the plane.
While I was waiting, she told me I was beautiful, gracious and graceful. She said she didn’t even know I had a vision problem because I carried myself with such poise. (People tell me that a lot.) Honestly, it surprised me because I felt like a hot mess in that moment. I hate having to ask for help, and when I do, people often say no very rudely. So, I just try to do things on my own … I’m pretty stubborn when I want something and don’t give up easily.
A runway worker came and escorted me off the plane and onto the tram. As the tram was coming to a stop at the terminal, I heard Sue talking to the pilot (I think he said his name was Chuck from Dallas). Next thing I knew, he grabbed my hand, had his copilot grab my bag and escorted me through LAX to the arrivals area. Not only that, but he waited with me at the curb until my friend arrived and helped her get my bag in the car. Then, he hugged us both goodbye.
You don’t get the pilot and his copilot to personally escort you through an airport and carry your bags if you’re not royal. It still shocks me because I’ve had so many people in my life put me down and tell me I’m not as good as I think I am, but when something like this happens, I have to acknowledge that I am, indeed, a princess, a royal, a person of high standards and value.
It fascinates me how horribly I have been treated by some people who were in my life and close to me. Then, random strangers of position speak their true observations about me and treat me like the princess I knew deep down inside I was — that one experience changed everything for me. It put everything (especially the bad stuff and people) into perspective.
I was then (and still am now) eternally grateful for the help and kindness they all showed me. I was, once again, reminded that no matter how badly the haters treat me, it doesn’t change the fact that I am royal, and that I’m still on my throne and wearing my crown.
Being authentically you brings haters
This is an excerpt from “Becoming the Magnificent Me: A guide to creating your happiest life.”
I was told by a close friend that I have a presence when I enter a room, and people notice me. That is never my intention. Most of the time, I try to be invisible, but that usually doesn’t work. This same “presence” doesn’t just cause people to notice me—it angers other people to the point of them lashing out and trying to hurt, sabotage, bully, or even destroy my spirit and my reputation.
While I greatly appreciate the kind words of others, I’ve experienced a lot of friction from other people—that has been especially so since returning from the Ms. U.S. pageant. I’m not going to lie—it’s heartbreaking when other people don’t support you or believe in you, and it’s even worse when they try to tear you down and ruin the good reputation you have spent a lifetime building. Have hope, though—People with good hearts can see through all the untruths said about you. It can be hard in the moment to realize this, but it’s true. It’s just important to first and foremost be true to yourself, have pure intentions, and trust that everything is working out for your highest good in diving timing and divine order …
Some people just want to bully and control you … There’s nothing you can do but limit the access these types of people have to your life
Senée Seale Luchsinger is a book author, mental health professional and life guide passionate about helping people transform their lives and relationships. If you’d like to book a personal session with Senée, she’s accepting new clients.
If you’d like a tool to help you transform your thinking and life quickly, download The Princess Guide to Gratitude Affirmations for free.
Do you have a question about life that you want Senée to answer? Leave it in a comment here, on one of her social media channels or email it to PrincessGuide@BecomingPublishing.com.
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